when i see a person talking or walking, sometimes i judge them even before listening to them or knowing them.
i hope i can notice this habit more now, and then open up a bit
when i see a person talking or walking, sometimes i judge them even before listening to them or knowing them.
i hope i can notice this habit more now, and then open up a bit
ich werde fast von allen seiten des lebens reichlich beschenkt so sehr, dass ich fast nicht mehr danke sagen kann
perhaps more dialog. practising dialogue. i hear a lot of monologue and i talk it a lot too. however: monologue is the spoken voice that is going on inside you anyways. other people like to listen to that voice but i also love it to mix many voices together and have them interact. because when other people listen, they follow and they have an internal dialog. they think “yes, yea, uhh.. really? ah, sure. here my opinion is that ...”
not only being open to different words, but different ways of thinking and speaking and seeing.
humans really are not separate from the world. humans, animals, and all beings, conscious, unconscious, something inbetween, something outbetween, theyre all part of everything, of god, of life.
what am i going to eat tomorrow. do they think im cool. does she like me. will i be happy. will i experience what i was always wishing for.
if not, i will be sad. i want this to happen. not whats here, but whats there.
i want. i want to stop wanting. w a n t
w
when the weather is cold, i can stay inside and code and study comfortably. when the weather is warm, i can go outside, enjoy the sun, work, travel, live freely, just being, having fun.
feels a bit dark and caged inside this room. im going out for half an hour to jog! seeing the sun, seeing people, breathing fresh air and being in nature can really lift you up and lockern some of that being-inside and being-worried and being-in-capitalism and doing-things-right and thinking-about-things and acting-normal supressing-human-feelings, pressure and all of that. free yourself a bit, losen up, look inside what your body needs! listen to your body! the caught-in-words uptight part of our society can have a weird effect on me
gedankenschmerzen
im feeling a bit neurotic [that is, also this morning i thought a lot and i feel like i cant just “exist” and “be” like “normal” people who just wash their dishes when they wash their dishes and watch tv when they watch tv [though now im noticing most people probably dont? does it matter?]. i just want to stop questioning so many things and pretend that me thinking about everything is very important; yes, think, but youre not some kind of important person whose thoughts change the world or are much more true than other peoples thought (and here im noticing that this is kinda what im thinking in a way)] and am not sure how to deal with it, because thinking about it feels like overthinking, at least the way i do it. its probably okay anyways and the way of thinking less is not really researching more
.....hoooooowever look at this nice article from Psychology Today [1]:
”... they suggest that it is mindfulness, or thinking more intensely about one's experiences, that could help highly neurotic people.
In mindfulness, you concentrate on and accept your thoughts, and feelings and consciously insert yourself into the moment. You might imagine that this is the worst thing for highly neurotic individuals to do, because it focuses their attention on their maladaptive ways of thinking. However, part of mindfulness is deciding on how to view the experience that you’re having. If you’re engaging in mindfulness, you look at an experience with acceptance and curiosity. Rather than fighting the feeling, you ask yourself where it’s coming from, and redefine the situation as one you can conquer.”
btw (yea my line of thought is quite unlinear (including this sidenote in the middle of a sentence) its a bit weird that im just writing and researching about stuff instead of just reading the article and taking it in. i guess i also just kinda enjoy writing a bit and citing some article lmao. however now the words of the article are kinda losing their meaning to me and now im just left asking myself “is there something wrong?” part of me wants to say yea, something, but actually its all fine. it just feels like something is wrong, like i have to change myself or something. however i do feel a bit of discomfort in my stomach and some tension in my head, they are there. a mindful approach to these feelings now is to welcome them and look at them. i usually then want to relax, but maybe this kind of relaxation is a bit too forced. and then thoughts and this and that and its all confusing when you think too much about it because youre distancing yourself from your experience. just experience whats there.
im a bit afraid of losing thoughts, thats why i currently always want to write them down immediately. right now im reading that article and while im reading a paragraph, i want to copy it to this text so i can comment on it, but before im even done reading the paragraph im worrying that i might forget why i wanted to copy the paragraph. im afraid i will lose my line of thought which i do quite often.
i can just watch all of this unfold. all of these texts. the words seem a bit distressed because they want to be different than i am right now, but i can just watch it. and be with peace with it. you dont need to feel like its bad to be neurotic. it will pass anyways. and so it was also nice reading that article.
ten simple breaths
dont do the tasks because you have to do them because youre interested actualy (because many of them, you would do in your free time out of curiosity)