im feeling a bit neurotic [that is, also this morning i thought a lot and i feel like i cant just “exist” and “be” like “normal” people who just wash their dishes when they wash their dishes and watch tv when they watch tv [though now im noticing most people probably dont? does it matter?]. i just want to stop questioning so many things and pretend that me thinking about everything is very important; yes, think, but youre not some kind of important person whose thoughts change the world or are much more true than other peoples thought (and here im noticing that this is kinda what im thinking in a way)] and am not sure how to deal with it, because thinking about it feels like overthinking, at least the way i do it. its probably okay anyways and the way of thinking less is not really researching more
.....hoooooowever look at this nice article from Psychology Today [1]:
”... they suggest that it is mindfulness, or thinking more intensely about one's experiences, that could help highly neurotic people.
In mindfulness, you concentrate on and accept your thoughts, and feelings and consciously insert yourself into the moment. You might imagine that this is the worst thing for highly neurotic individuals to do, because it focuses their attention on their maladaptive ways of thinking. However, part of mindfulness is deciding on how to view the experience that you’re having. If you’re engaging in mindfulness, you look at an experience with acceptance and curiosity. Rather than fighting the feeling, you ask yourself where it’s coming from, and redefine the situation as one you can conquer.”
btw (yea my line of thought is quite unlinear (including this sidenote in the middle of a sentence) its a bit weird that im just writing and researching about stuff instead of just reading the article and taking it in. i guess i also just kinda enjoy writing a bit and citing some article lmao. however now the words of the article are kinda losing their meaning to me and now im just left asking myself “is there something wrong?” part of me wants to say yea, something, but actually its all fine. it just feels like something is wrong, like i have to change myself or something. however i do feel a bit of discomfort in my stomach and some tension in my head, they are there. a mindful approach to these feelings now is to welcome them and look at them. i usually then want to relax, but maybe this kind of relaxation is a bit too forced. and then thoughts and this and that and its all confusing when you think too much about it because youre distancing yourself from your experience. just experience whats there.
im a bit afraid of losing thoughts, thats why i currently always want to write them down immediately. right now im reading that article and while im reading a paragraph, i want to copy it to this text so i can comment on it, but before im even done reading the paragraph im worrying that i might forget why i wanted to copy the paragraph. im afraid i will lose my line of thought which i do quite often.
i can just watch all of this unfold. all of these texts. the words seem a bit distressed because they want to be different than i am right now, but i can just watch it. and be with peace with it. you dont need to feel like its bad to be neurotic. it will pass anyways. and so it was also nice reading that article.