jlu

i just got extremely hyped by the rainbow family and also just festivals in general, it seems to me like real life is going on with some people! they're experiencing, letting go, talking to strangers, being open-minded, living the life that humans dream of. of course i'm romanticising.

im also being quite manic about going into psycare, now that i have tried it out one time. i want to get into it, do workshops and get certificates or however it works. and maybe use that as a sprungbrett to go deeper into psychedelic research or psychology in general.

i fear forgetting things like these so i cling onto them. what does buddhism have to say about this? i dont want to miss these opportunities! i dont want to live a boring life! i want to experience it all! i have to! why! im not sure! maybe its some psychological thing on me!

it appears to be an art to be open for new experiences and open to people, that is: new people you just met but also, especially: letting friends into your heart fully, just like they are just like they are!

and by doing so, two mental conceptions and forms of consciousness merge and dance to create an inter-personal relationship that is based on diverse opinions and reality-lenses

sorry im also listening to music rn so this text might not be so structured

www theguardian com/society/2018/dec/06/lsd-guides-psychedelic-assisted-psychotherapy

i will humbly say that this talk at one moment awakened in me a lovely amazement for life and existence:

they are so incredibly cool, i'll pretend to be one of them (no one will notice i'm not cool)

Jung went through years of psychosis, which of course was an experience that had a huge influence on his theories. And I have seen in other videos that he is quite gentle, and Allan Watts says he has a very welcoming presence (I take that with a small grain of salt) and I do have to say – Jung seems to have developed a very stable and empathetic intuition for people, he talks in a very curious way, he listens to his patients and he can draw from his own psychological experiences – like a shaman, yes, actually. In “The Red Book” he describes his psychotic experiences, and it appeared unscientific to many people apparently. He has developed ideas of the collective unconscious, individuation, ego – the conscious, individual ego – and self – a concept i don't really understand yet, apparently the true self of life, what it was meant to be from the beginning. I will paraphrase from the video, and I hope it is close to Jung's view: That personality is the unique expression of universal creativity to understand itself. It makes sense to me, I mean where does personality come from? Apparently out of nothing, out of surroundings, people, experiences, all of which are incredibly complex and chaotic in a way that I don't want to use words like complexity anymore – but words like subjective, destiny, god, more out of this cupboard of language. I want to notice that people like the creator of that video, and people who watch his contents, and people like Jordan Peterson – we might tend to idealize Jung, want to be like him slightly secretly, want to experience psyche as well – but I also want to say that Jung himself, maybe, might also have enjoyed some Buddhism. Now I don't know what Psychosis feels like, and I would have to experience it for myself to see what will happen with me and how I will be in that state – even though the psychedelic experience is very similar to that (and now be careful not to abuse the psychedelic experience to feel funky psychological phenomena – treat it with the respect it deserves. Don't stay away from it – but why drink it like a cup of tea in the evening? Treat it like a day in the unknown jungle, and it kind of is.) and I have felt that Zen and meditation was also very beneficial, while staying simple, while staying true, in this moment, not involved in mental phenomena – and Jung also felt that trying to study and understand too much will not help with psychological phenomena. But how could Buddhism have reached his mind? Just through words, because it is very hard to find a line of Zen Masters and they themselves also seem to just be authority. Zen is here. Right now. You are reading these words, do you notice? This. And this word. Another thought. See it pass. All these words and sentences, they are passing right now, as you read. And now another sentence. Do you feel it? Now what are you reading these words on? A screen? Through your eyes? Through your mind? Your mind? Awareness? I'm breathing in, I'm breathing out. You're breathing too. In. And out. That's just to be in the moment, in presence. It's just a thing to do, I feel it helps a lot with many psychological issues. Since I'm just here, writing this text, obsessing a bit, thinking about Jung, being emotionally invested a bit, thinking that this should be that and I want to be like this and I shouldn't be doing that – I'm just here, with my laptop, breathing, here, now. Okay this escalated quickly

there are no heavy moral implications involved: it can be simpler than that:

just be aware.

i want to buy a lamp from amazon – and while doing that, just notice what is happening. what are you supporting? you are fueling money to certain organs of our society: amazon as a platform, and the company that produces the lamps.

now just be aware, notice the judgements – amazon is being judged quite a lot because it does things that are immoral, but dont be distracted by feelings of moral good and bad – just be aware: if amazon is doing bad things like underpaying its workers, can you buy your lamp somewhere else maybe? just look. amazon is quick, amazon is lazy – you don't need to be lazy, you can just stay conscious. so i will google around (but be aware – is google good? aren't they also evil? now it's getting a bit neurotic – i'm sorry i can't fix the whole world and i will also trust my surroundings, and society, to have a sustainable, ecological, fair consciousness. i can't do that alone, we need to work together.) and look if there is another store in hamburg. and be aware – where does the lamp come from?

this is not working. my head will explode like this. everything around me is evil and bad and whatever i do im destroying the planet. i can not continue with this attitude. i will not found my thinking on mistrust, hatred, and feelings of moral superiority – i will found it on trust in myself and all humans around me and i will found it on awareness, simple, honest, acting out of this trust, someone tells me “coca cola is evil!!” so i just ask why, they tell me they did X, so now i will just buy fritz cola instead. simple, unverwickelt, healthy, direct. maybe fritz cola is evil, too – so i stay awake, i look around – but i don't want to say words like good and evil – my intersocial focus lies on sustainability. that the way we do things will be healthy in the longterm for us humans and our surroundings (ecological and social sustainability and empathy). this awareness requires transparency. i require transparency. i will read and look what i am doing to my surroundings. i will not obsess over ideologies or moral positions.

so i will become concrete now and use some intuition here. 1. so what about Google? my intuition tells me, i would rather like to use Ecosia. And spread that project a bit. they seem nicer. they seem more empathetic. Do i have the time to research a bit more, and to know instead of just relying on my intuition? Maybe. But for now i just feel better like that. (some stuff i found out: they plant a lotta trees. they support fridays for future. so supporting them is a nice thing 2. and amazon? .... ja okay they exploit workers, theyre just huge in general, thats also a bit frightening... i have power as a consumer but stuff like working policies? shouldnt that be a state thing? but i can just see they dont really seem to care about humans, it has become quite a machine. do i want to support that? not if i have to. lets see if i can find some alternatives... oh, and i didnt even notice! ebay-kleinanzeigen.de and then you'll even reuse some of the stuff that other people dont want. i can just wait for my lampe to appear there.... tho for some specific stuff, like a plant-LED, it's sometimes hard to find it there. but now i really come to like that page because it is actually, secretely, an anti-motion to capitalist machines like amazon.

so starting from simple awareness, being morally open-minded, comes the following: * as a principle: ecological sustainability and intersocial empathy * ecosia instead of google * ebay-kleinanzeigen instead of amazon * and still – transcend concepts of good and evil. now i feel better using these alternatives, but i want to be careful with morality. just stay conscious tm

When looking at chemistry, synthesis of new compounds, re- and de-structuring molecules, the science of chemistry is helpful, but also look at biology: How did certain cycles evolve? How do plants and animals handle chemicals?

oftentimes, my back makes a little “crack!” sound when i breathe in deeply.

at one moment i was reminded: i breathe with my whole body!

and my back was quiet and breathing along.

following came out of my mind when beginning to watch [1]:

“jordan peterson's words are male, toxic. he's the leader of the alt-right”

prejudice. listen to what he really has to say, i respect him as a thinker. this is a video on jung. masculinity in and of itself is not bad, neither good. it's just what it is and it's probably rather a mental abstraction than a real psychological fact: because real psychological things are to be felt, not to be put into categories (they can be roughly sorted into these, tho)

at the same time: also listen to people when they criticise masculinity. why not listen to them? that would be another prejudice. be thankful for their awareness, be empathetic.

[1]