They claim that mental issues with adults may very well be related to their inabilty to fully be themselves in early childhood. Their caregivers were not capable of dealing with the aggressive, demanding personalities of infants, which is why they learned to supress their own needs and comply with their caregivers in order to receive love and support. This behaviour affects them long after childhood, leaving them “unanchored”, “inwardly dead” and “not entirely present”.
Children should not bother with the problems of their caretakers, but freely act out and explore their own selves.
They state that the true self is not social and not moral, but inherently egoistic. It chooses its behaviour entirely on its own, irrespectable of what others might feel or think, thus often misbehaving. When it does choose to be friendly or adorable, it is not to receive love or admiration, because it is not dependent on it. A child should be allowed to express their true self, with all its aggressiveness, which includes hurting and destroying its surroundings, including its caretakers. It should not be confronted with the consequences, rather it should learn that the surroundings are not too fragile for its true self.
It follows that a child that developed a true self is able to adapt in a system of rules, temporarily ignoring own needs to function in society. It does not need to rebel constantly because it has already done so in childhood.
Psychotherapy helps people that had to comply in early childhood and thus could not develop a true self. It provides a safe space where they can act out their perhaps aggressive, ugly urges and feelings to gain a sense of their true selves. Only after that they can adapt to society and ignore parts of their needs.