Very very interesting talk with this chemical student about his exam: they are asked to transform given substances (as physical toys) through reactions to the target substance, and he said how there are multiple ways for certain substances, and all this does, in fact, especially with those complicated names everywhere, remind me of alchemy and magical spells and all that. now don't misunderstand me; i would put this as our heritage of our explorations in consciousness and the cosmos (big words wow) which do kind of lay the foundations of modern science and way of living. im not so sure myself, but werent it the alchemists who first were interested in investigating matter? liquids? strange things that were made of reactions that they were projecting to be certain symbols (strong connection to astrology, also a “medieval precursor” to astronomy) (next to me people are talking about hamburg politics it gives me a headache) (and i feel a lot of sexual symbols everywhere). well what i just want to say is that the world, if you open yourself up a bit to our psyches, which are already here, lead you to strange worlds. and i feel like this is exactly what happens when you broaden your horizon: the landscape becomes strange and weirder, on the limit of our understanding, opening doors, but also teaching how some form of living takes place exactly there, not in the dwelling at home, where we understand things and were just using the tools provided by the ones who went out. its a bit hard to go to deep into physics, for example, without being confronted with spiritual topics, but the same goes for psychology, and i feel like what many of us do is just come up with clever ways to distance themselves from these certain strange but extremely personal topics.
i saw myself as an organism. an organism which consists of many many living beings, the cells in me. and i also see how i myself am a cell in another organism, society. but its not just that: i listened to indian music and in the comments the following metaphor was told (btw im adopting a certain prose style here, like telling a story, it's also something that we just do, we tell stories also in the text books like our ancestors did around the fire (i imagine)): that if you let go of your ego, krishna will play through you, with your chakras as holes, like a flute a beautiful song. and i tried that out: let the song play through me, then wondering who is playing the song, krishna, it is in a sense also myself, but in another way, and suddenly i felt like i was part of a bigger being, like my cells were seeing me, the human, and i told them about myself, and they can live their lives just how they want, i have no right to order them around, but they say they dont want to live in chaos, the song plays itself if we let go, we're playing the song.
now do this a little bit with more intensity and you might understand psychotic people a bit more? but i have never really met one, just indications from certain people (trip reports, which are quite similar in nature to psychotic states of being, at least many people would agree with me on that).