so i have thought a lot, philosophized a lot, meditated a lot and delved a bit in psychedelic realms, and i have been on a voyage of learning and experiencing more and more, and feeling like i have gotten somewhere and feeling like im letting go of words, of myself more and more, as if im in a path to liberation, however i feel myself wanting something dramatic, learn something deep about life, have that “enlightenment”, that spiritual “end” where everything is fine and the cosmos has come to understand itself and find itself in pure safety, pure endless being, unconstrained by thoughts and words.
i feel myself a bit too attached to just that, essentially abusing that feeling. and so i want to liberate myself from that feeling again, and then i sense im going back to that path, and return to cling to it. its okay. its a practise. you wont get arrogant if you let go. let go of the fact that youre not perfect, let go of the fact you cant always let go and sometimes cling. just let go.