i want enlightenment. though, i believe that there is no one enlightenment, and its not something that happens and then its done, maybe its a process, but maybe not even that, maybe its more like a dream we humans dream. right now i think its more of a name for certain kinds of experiences. and maybe thats just that. im not sure if there is a truth or secret to the universe or there is much to wake up from. but maybe there is. maybe i just dont want to wake up, it is. anyways, then i still want these kinds of experiences. mind bending. “consciousness expanding” (tho i have a personal emotional dislike to this term). spiritual. relevatory. its exciting. but maybe its just that. exciting. interesting. like an acid trip without any substances involved. and i do kinda feel like this desire is “not good”.
anyways, whatever is right, whatever is wrong, i also believe talking more about it will not do any difference.
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